personal

My Experience With (Failed) Risk

Posted on by yknight

Risks. The word alone makes the tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand erect. The very thought of stepping outside of my well furnished bubble has never sat well with me.  In fact, it’s something that I’ve eluded to on my blog before – I like to play life safe. Walk up to that attractive guy and talk to him? Not happening. Dye my hair blonde, and channel my inner Beyonce? Absolutely not.

But what has come from that? I’m single, and my hair is boring.

Recently, however, I took the risk of leaving the fashion world for something different. I was beginning to find myself getting burnt out with styling, and wanted to try something different. So I swapped my Steve Madden Nude pumps, for some Nike Free Runs, and hopscotched into the fitness industry.

I wish I could shout from the rooftops about how amazing my life has turned out since I stepped outside of my bubble, however, it didn’t turn out as well as I hoped. In fact, it was a near disaster.

While it could be easy for me to throw my hands in the air and exclaim ” and this is why I don’t take risks!” There is a lot that I can take from my whole experience with taking a step outside of my bubble:

  1. Risks aren’t that scary.
  2. You learn so much more about yourself in a bad setting, than you do in a comfortable setting.
  3. You can always change your mind, and leave.

I was chatting with a girlfriend over some coffee the other day, chatting over my apparent failed risk.

” I’m so sorry that didn’t work out for you. I guess it was a waste of time,” she said.

While, i was inclined to say “yeah, and now I have no idea what to do,” I stopped myself. in reality, I’ve learned more in this job setting than I have anywhere else. I realize now that I LOVE to help people, hear their stories, and share my own. I learned that as much as I love fitness, I cannot work in that industry. More importantly, I learned that I am born to be a leader, and not a follower, because I’ve learned so much in my own trials in life.

So, in reply to her comment I said “I took a risk, failed, and it wasn’t the end of the world. In fact, I learned a lot”

Go, talk to that man you’ve been eyeing for months.
Go, change your look to something that’s you’ve been dying to try.
Go for it, because coming from someone who didn’t have a great experience with the dirty word risk, at the end of the day, I’m still amazing.

I’m Back!

Posted on by yknight

Can you believe how quickly time flies? It feels as though I woke up one day, and poof, 3 months had gone by. It’s been an interesting couple of months, with tons of changes in my life, and overall adapting to life as a single twenty something, living solo. With all that life has thrown at me, I’ve managed to forget about my little corner on the web, but honey, I’m back!

For my first post back, I’m choosing to write about something that has been very close to my heart lately – maybe because the daylight hits us a little longer each day, or possibly because we’re starting to see grass peaking out from the ground. Today, I’ll write about “New Beginnings”.

I’m not sure about you guys, but I absolutely love spring – I would even say it’s my favourite season. It is in part because of the things I mentioned before (I mean, who doesn’t love the fact that it’s light out until past 7PM now!), but I love spring mostly because it means ” a new beginning”.

I’m not sure where you’re at in your life, or what God has thrown your way right now, but I want to encourage you that if you’re not in a place you want to be; this is the time to change that! Maybe you don’t like your job, or where you live, or what you look like – Spring is the time for change; its the time to shake things up, and do something different.

This year, for me, hasn’t gone the way I had expected. I wouldn’t say it’s gone badly, but differently than I would like. I got a new full time, big girls job (which was super exciting), but the job is turning out to be something that doesn’t quite fit me. My roommate and I aren’t getting along anymore, and all in all, I’m simply in a period of transition – stuck between where I am, and where I want to be.

However, like with anything in life, we have two choices as to how to deal with circumstances – we can either allow it to defeat and overtake us, or we can take a hold of life, and do something about it. Whether it’s small steps to where you want to be (I hate to use the term, but Rome wasn’t built in a day, it takes steps!), or flat out, taking a deep breath and jumping off the edge into something new; if we’re not happy about something, we need to create a plan as to how to fix or change it, and then attack.

I challenge you today, to LIVE, not to merely exist. Live your life in technicolor – boldly, and full of excitement. It’s spring baby, and that means it’s time for your new beginning.

RECAP: 2015 National Canadian Skating Championships

Posted on by yknight

To say I’m inconsistent is an understatement… BUT in my defence, I have an excuse this time. I was away working (and spectating) at the National Canadian Figure Skating Championships.

Now, if you’re new here (welcome). I am a former competitive figure skater; I cannot remember a time when I wasn’t skating in some capacity. I’m OBSESSED with this sport, to the point where I feel like it’s another body part. Needless to say, Nationals is one of my favourite events, and I am so excited to write a bit about it.

Now, this is a post Olympic year, so needless to say, my expectations for this event was quite low – many of the top skaters in Canada are either injured or taking a sabbatical, so I knew that the level of skating would be lower than normal. But honey, I did not think it would be this low. The skaters didn’t look trained, and they looked unmotivated (especially in the singles events, but we’ll get to that later). It was to a point, where I’m considering returning to competing (but, again, I’ll get to this later).

First of was the Ladies event. Other than Joannie Rochette, ladies skating in Canada has always been a couple of notches lower than all of the other disciplines. It’s to be expected, that the ladies event will be the worst event. However, the level of skating at the ladies event was so low, that I, someone who hasn’t competed in 5 years, could very well have competed and not come in last place. The ladies looked untrained, unmotivated, and simply…boring. The skating skills was not there, the jumps were simple, and the ladies event was just an overall drag. The top 3 ladies in the country right now, while they were good, they were not at the level they need to be to compete with the best in the world. Sure, someone will argue that the top two have triple triples, and that they’re young and still have room to grow. However, to me, there is nothing memorable about them, and their technique is awful. At least the dresses were pretty.

The Men’s event was the hottest of all of the messes, and definitely more disappointing than the women’s event. At least with the ladies event, it’s to be expected that the skating will be bland, however, I did not expect that with the men’s event. With the exception of Patrick Chan, the top men in the country were still competing, and really and truly, should have been ready to grab that very vacant title. Alas, it was quite the opposite, and most of the skaters looked untrained, and again unmotivated. My pick for the podium at this event, were all (but one) not even in the top 5. There were only 3 triple axels completed in the free event, and 5 out of the 16 (I believe) skaters even attempted a quad (and only 2 were landed).

Here is my unsolicited advice to the guys who totally won’t read this, but really and truly should have been on the podium. Change coaches. Every single one of you. Andrei, Liam, and Elladj (especially Elladj, gosh, I have such a soft spot for him) need new skating environments and a new coaching team. This isn’t to say their coaches are bad (they sure as heck aren’t) but clearly, it’s not working for their style of skating. If they plan to continue, they need a new outlook, a new city, a new set of eyes. It doesn’t hurt, right? I’m not surprised that Nam won, and I feel like he is the skater with the most long term potential right now. I do feel though, that if these other skaters were prepared, and focused on that title, Nam wouldn’t have won.

I’m going to recap pairs and dance together, because 1) I’m neither a pairs skater or an ice dance, so my eyes are slightly untrained to really nitpick at this. However, the teams that were at nationals looked trained, and ready to go. The programs were mostly entertaining, and all of the teams looked like they were out there to achieve some sort of goal. I wish the singles skaters had that as well.

Okay, so this has been mostly a negative recap; but the event wasn’t all bad! There was some skaters that were amazing, and some skaters who, you could tell, were really training for this event. However, overall, it was a weak event, and let down after last years nationals, that I also saw live. I feel like next year’s nationals will be a changing of the guards, and that we’ll see skaters who maybe had a disappointing season last year with something new about them.

I’ll do a separate post on personal memories and moments from nationals, but I did just want to get posted a quick recap of the event.

Get Over Your Holiday Hangover

Posted on by yknight

I’m currently posted curled up in my bed, eating lemon-meringue pie yogurt and watching Sex and The City.

So much for starting out the year blazing with my high-heels in hand.

This isn’t to say I have done nothing productive: I cleaned out my closet (finally), I managed to drag my butt to class (even in -35 degree weather), and I have gotten a ton of beauty rest. However, I had envisioned this magnificent start to the year, that would push me towards greatness, and that just hasn’t happened yet.

Something that I, and a ton of other people forget to account for when starting out the new year, is the fact that we all have holiday hangover. Mix that with attempting to start all of these new things, it’s no wonder so many people give up on their New Years resolutions by January 15th.

It’s okay to give yourself a day (or a week) of beauty rest to catch up on sleep, and get yourself over the holiday season. This isn’t to say though that you should give yourself a month to get over the holidays. Start off slow, and build your way up to achieving those goals you’ve set for yourself this year (because, honey, I know you can do it all).

Here are some things that I have done that have been, as I like to call it “low key productive”

  1. Cleaned out my closet: Oh, did I EVER need to do that! My closet was filled with ghosts of bad decisions past, and it was time to let it all go. Not only does my room oddly feel lighter, it also allows for me to see what’s missing from my closet (ahem…J.Crew Endless shirt), and fill in the gaps.
  2. Made A New Music Playlist: Everyone does their playlists differently. I typically have different playlists for different moods. This year though, I want to change it up, and have just one playlist for the season. Find some new tracks to listen to, and rediscover some old gems. I promise, it’ll lift your spirits on a frigid, winter day.
  3. Start A New Book: I LOVE to read. I particularly love biographies, because they have a way of inspiring you to get out there, and work your butt off! I recently started to read Diane Von Furstenberg’s book, and it’s incredible. Give yourself half an hour a day to read a book, and allow your mind wander.

What are some low key-post holiday hanger activities you like to do? We all need that time to allow our bodies to catch up to our minds, especially if we want to have a very successful year

DISCLAIMER: The picture used in this post is not mine. I saw it on tumblr, and thought it was so cute (and fitting) for this post. All rights and whatnot goes to the owner of this picture. If you ever see a picture on my blog that is yours,and you don’t want on here, please, let me know (nicely), and I’ll remove it right away! I mean no harm, I’m simply still learning how to use my camera.

Discovery

Posted on by yknight

Hello 2015, how nice of you to join us! Your little sister 2014 was a little bit of a witch, but I know you’re much nicer, right?

There was something about waking up this morning that felt…light. This may be because I didn’t drown myself in champagne last night (or any other booze for that matter). It truly felt as though some monkey was lifted off of my back, and what was laid out in front of me was an empty book with 365 pages for me to fill.

Okay, that was slightly corny.

But that metaphor gave me a little jolt of motivation, a jolt of this “I can save the world, maybe, this year”.

This isn’t to say that I had a productive day, at all. I curled up in bed, sipping on some tea while binge watching Law and Order SVU (what else is there to watch on New Years Day?). But between Olivia Benson kicking some serious butt, and Stabler’s sarcastic remarks, I couldn’t help but think about what my “word of the year” would be.

Let me explain this. A couple of years ago, I began pinning a word to the year ahead of me, as a definition as to what I thought would represent the year ahead.

This year, my word is “Discovery”.

I feel like the past 4 years of my life have been in preparation for the next phase in my life. The past four years were riddled with challenges, and pain. At this point in time, the source of majority of the challenges, has been dealt with, allowing me to move forward. I feel in my heart, that 2015 is the year I discover my potential and purpose in life. That I begin to shout from the rooftops, and boldly exclaim who I am without fear. I feel like this year is the beginning of something incredible, as long as I stay motivated, and work hard. The last phase of my life is over, and it’s on to the next phase of my life; which WILL be totally exciting ( I FEEL IT IN MY BONES!!). Obviously, I’m going to make mistakes, have some big challenges ahead of me, but isn’t it worth it? Think of it this way; no country would start a war with a country that it didn’t feel threatened by. A potential prime minister (or president!) wouldn’t release attack ads against the person in last place? If you’re being challenged, it just means the outcome will be that much better if you stick with it!

I challenge you all to attack 2015 with all you have, and boldly go after your dreams. This could be the year you’re waiting for, but that will only happen if you work hard, and pursue your dreams. Sure, you might mess up, but as I tell my skating students; if you fell on something new, more times than not, it’s because you’re were doing something right that you weren’t use to.

Are you ready?

disclamer: Featured Photo is by Kate Spade, and was featured in an email blast sent out today.

fourteen

Posted on by yknight

I cannot be the only person that is thrilled, no, ECSTATIC that 2014 is over. I started off 2014 laying on the couch with my mom, watching YoYo Ma preform works by Astor Piazzolla (a FANTASTIC concert by the way). I was optimistic that this year will be better than 2013, but there was something in my that didn’t fully believe it. Every year I give myself a word that would represent the year, and for 2014 I couldn’t figure out what that word would be. That could have been an indication as to how the year would go. However, despite this year being a challenge, I did learn a lot about the world, and also myself. I made some silly choices (like getting back together with my ex-boyfriend briefly). But, I made even more smart decisions (like getting my coaching certification, getting a new job, committing to my workout regimen). Each roadblock I faced this year (and there were many), I faced it, and created a plan to get around it (or over it). As I sit here, curled up under my duvet, it’s hard not to reflect on year that I feel will be the year I look back on as, “The year everything changed”. Here are fourteen things I learned in 2014.

  1.  Your ex has not changed, don’t take them back. Ever.
  2. It’s possible to mix prints and not look like a hot mess.
  3. It’s always a good idea to have some kind of savings account.
  4. A 5 year plan will never work out the way you want it to. Let go
  5. Never burn bridges at any employer when you leave. They’re capable of leaving as well, and it could very well be to the same company as you.
  6. It’s okay to ask for help. No one will think of you as any weaker because yo did
  7. Try not to show off your strength to the other people in the gym. You’ll just end up with a sprained neck.
  8. Candles won’t burn your house down.
  9. A proper sleeping schedule can change your life.
  10. Kale is the greatest food ever.
  11. Setting daily, monthly and yearly goals are important.
  12. You’re a lot stronger than you think, both physically and mentally.
  13. You’re wise far beyond your years.
  14. God will never abandon you.

I’ll leave you with this quote I read somewhere going into 2015:

” Think of the next year as 365 opportunities, rather than 365 days”

I hope you all have a fantastic new years! Stay safe, and have fun!

Merry Christmas, Ya Filthy Animal!

Posted on by yknight

Snow is snowing. Wind is blowing. I can’t whether the storm. What do I care, how much it may storm? I’ve got my love to keep me warm!

That may be a lesser known Christmas song, but I’ve been playing it on repeat today! (it’s I’ve Got Love To Keep Me Warm – Frank Sinatra! Go take a listen here). I feel like out of all of Christmas songs, this may best reflect how my holidays have been.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, 2014 hasn’t exactly been my friend. The past couple of weeks have been really tough for me, given that my life completly changed a month ago. However, what saddened me the most, was that I had no Christmas spirit this year. I wasn’t listening to carols, I barely decorated my home; I just wasn’t feeling it. To go with it, my housemate (and cousin), last minute, left me by myself for Christmas even though we spoke about celebrating Christmas together (lets just say, this did not help my already lacking Christmas Spirit). Talk about a downer. 

What this time by myself (oh, and the Law and Order SVU Cast courtesy of my computer), It has given me some time to reflect about what Christmas is really about.

Jesus. It’s all about Jesus. If he didn’t come to this earth to die for us, December 25th would just be another day. With the rush of buying presents, decorating the tree, it’s so easy to forget about the reason for the season. This is especially important if you find yourself alone this holiday season, or disappointed about how the holidays have turned out. Please remember this. You are not alone. You can still celebrate this season because the person this holiday is all about, Jesus, came to this earth for YOU! He loves YOU and is with you on this day!

It’s so easy to be sad, especially with the social media culture now a days, about how your holidays aren’t as amazing as that girl who got proposed to on Christmas, or that friend who seems to have it all. Don’t compare your holiday with others, but focus your eyes upwards, and see the best gift you could ever have, has already been given to you.

I hope you all have an amazing holiday! Do something to make it special, even if it’s sitting on the couch, binge watching Law and Order SVU (can you tell that I’m obsessed with that show?) And if you don’t happen to celebrate Christmas, have an amazing day as well! I know that the other holidays are forgotten at this time of year, but I hope you have a very special day as well!

MERRY CHRISTMAS//HAPPY HOLIDAYS LOVEBUGS

Happy Birthday To Me, I’m 103!

Posted on by yknight

Ah, birthdays. Life’s way of saying “Congratulations, you’ve passed level X, you may now move on to the next level”. Meanwhile, half the time, you feel like you need a do-over on last level.

Today is my birthday (Woo-hoo!).Yes that means:

  • I’m a Christmas Season baby. Which yes, means I LOVE Christmas
  • I do have the same birthday as Taylor Swift. Maybe that means I can become as successful as her? Maybe?
  • I’m a Sagittarius. Slightly crazy, yet totally fun. (you know you want me around)

Jokes aside, my last year was a tough year. A ton of change happened in my life; a lot of which I felt I wasn’t prepared for. But what I can say about my last year (even my last two years) is that I learned A LOT. I learned that people come and go, that you’re more capable of handling things than you think, and that family is the most important thing you have. I also accomplished a ton; I got my coaching certification for Figure Skating (Finally!), set a ton of personal bests at the gym, got a new job, and started this blog!

Going into my next year, I expect a lot, and feel like it will be a special year for me. While I have my own personal goals for the next year, here are a couple of things I plan to do in these next 365 days.

  1. Take More Pictures.
  2. Visit more Musems and Art Exhibits.
  3. Travel to new places. (Vancouver is sounding pretty nice right now)
  4. Discover and actively pursue my purpose in life.
  5. Spend more time with friends.
  6. Life in the moment.
  7. Go to a Music Festival (or two)
  8. Get another Tattoo.
  9. Let Go, and Let God.

I Hope KNOW this year is everything I dream it will be. Let’s see what this twenty-X year has to offer me!

PS. I’m not 103

Ruts: Not Only An Annoying Thing on the Ice

Posted on by yknight

I’ve noticed, in my post competitive – figure skater career, that life is very similar to the sport. Or at least, I like to tell myself that.

In figure skating, there is this annoying thing we refer to called ruts in the ice. Basically, it’s when there is a large crevice in the ice, that can’t be seen from far away, but when you skate by it, and your blade catches this rut, you fall over. Cue dramatic sigh from the audience, and a three point deduction.

Life Ruts are very similar.

I mean, think about it, no one ever intentionally enters into a rut, however, over time, you’ll notice that your sitting on the ice in your Swarovski crystal dress, and the audience isn’t clapping any more.

Right now, I’m finding myself caught in a rut, sitting on the ice, in my little bedazzled dress, and boy, is it cold! I like to play things very safely, (my own grandma said I need to take more risks!). I find comfort in routine, and hate surprises. But when life threw me a surprise a couple of weeks ago, it made me reflect on my life up to this point, and see the massive rut I had gotten myself into. It’s not always nice seeing that you need to change things to get new results. In fact, its flat out terrifying.

I turn twenty-X (I’m still leaving my age a mystery!) in 5 days, and after reflecting upon the past couple of years, I’ve come to see that I’m not where I want or need to be, and that’s all because of me playing it safe, and being in a rut. Playing it safely in life will only get you stuck sitting at a desk, working 9-5. Monday-Friday. I saw my life heading in that direction, and while there is NOTHING wrong with that, it wasn’t what I wanted. I see other people my age go after their dreams, and creating these wonderful things, and I can’t help but think “There is no reason why I can’t do that too”. So, I’m doing it. Rut no more! Playing it safe no more!

I’m not suggesting jumping off a cliff (both literally, and figuratively), and sky diving your way into a new life. Gradually changing things up, like your hair cut, to your gym, to your city, could help bring the results in life that you’re looking for. Life is meant to be exciting & FUN. There is no point in being bored with your life!

While I don’t have the answers to get out of a rut (hello! I’m the one IN the rut!), I will share 5 little things I’m doing to change things up a bit. This is, by no means, a step by step guide to change your life, but they can’t hurt, right?

  1. Change Up Your Radio Station/Playlists: Try listening to a new genre of music (or revisit a old favourite). I used to listen to premade CD’s I’d make in the car, and now I’ve started listening to the radio (and discovered some great songs as well!) If you have playlists on your phone or ipod, delete them, and start over!
  2. Clean Out Your Closet: This one seems pretty obvious, but sometimes a big part of a rut is that we’re wearing the same jeans we rocked when we were 15. Take a day, gather some girlfriends, and clean out your closet (kind of like the Sex and the City Movie!). Bonus points if you listen to “Best of the 80’s” and drink Champagne while doing it.
  3. Go Shopping: You’ll need to refill your closet, so why not make a day out of it! Go to your favourite mall, or if you can, travel to a new city and shop for new pieces for your wardrobe. Buy what YOU love, and forget the rest!
  4. Set Goals: I feel like this is something that most of us are already starting to think about with the New Year just around the corner, but take some time out of your day, and write out what you want to accomplish in the new year. Break it down as much as you can, and post it somewhere where you’ll see it everyday,
  5. Change Up Your Workout: Workouts are the easiest thing to settle into a routine for. It’s comfortable (well, Kind of!), it’s working, and you don’t want to fix what ain’t broke! But there are little ways you can change it up; try taking a spinning class instead of running. Try taking yoga one night a week instead of lifting everyday. Not only will you likely see more results, but you’ll probably meet some pretty cool people too!

Have any of you been in a rut? What are some things you’ve done to spice life up again?

Crossroads: (Baby, I’m back)

Posted on by yknight

You know those moments in life when you’ve been dealt with more thank you feel you can bear, and you just need some time to get away. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to disconnect from everything – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, even your Blog, for a little while so you can recharge. Recently, that is what I was faced with; this feeling of being overwhelmed, and honestly, terrified.

I’ve had a lot on my plate over the past couple of weeks. Now that the dust has settled a little bit, I’m facing a fork in the road; a crossroads if you will.

We’ve all experienced it, or at least have seen it dramatized in some movie. That pivotal point in life where you just know in your gut that from this point forward, everything will be different. While in the movies, it’s made to seem so dramatic, and epic, in reality, it’s just plain scary.

I’m not sure if you all have quite gotten this part of my personality based off of my posts, but I LOVE to be in control. I make about 20 lists a day, and I have a 5 year plan for my life.To me, these lists and my 5 year plan helped me to believe that I knew what was coming next, and I was totally in control. But something happened recently (that I’ll eventually write about on here) that made me realize that couldn’t be further from the truth, and that left me feeling as though I passed off the reigns of my life to an invisible person, which scared me.

Being at a crossroads is terrifying, because it makes you to question everything. However, in my week of solitude, reflecting on the events of late, I began to get excited about the opportunity such as a “crossroads” can bring you.

Now, there are a couple of people that know me personally that read my blog, and know the nitty-gritty’s of my “life change’ , and to them (and to everything else, I guess, too) I say, I am NOT happy with what happened, and it’s something that I’m still battling with understanding and accepting, however I cannot allow something tragic to stop me from becoming the person I want to be, building my life and fulfilling my dreams. I’m choosing to look at this situation, this phase of my life as an opportunity. An opportunity to discover who I am, live life freely, and be boldly ME. There is not a thing holding me back, and there something in that, that feels incredible.

If something happened to you recently that has made you rethink everything, or maybe you hit rock bottom, or maybe you find yourself at a crossroads; think of this: This is the opportunity to burn the book and start over. This is your opportunity to go back to the drawing board and come up with something even more fantastic.

I have no idea where the next phase of my life will take me, what I do know though, is that I have the opportunity to grow and become the person I’ve dreamed of at this point. Because what is really holding me back?  What’s holding any of us back?

So this marks my return to my blog, are you ready?